What to Do if You Discover Mouse Poop in Your Kitchen

The Frugal Hostess hates you, mouse.

What to do if you discover mouse poop in your kitchen:

Feel faint.  Almost faint, even if you've never fainted before.

Call your husband.

Cry.

Slam a beer.

Cry harder.

Go in another room.  Slam second beer.

Contemplate suicide.

Contemplate getting in your car and driving away forever.

Cry.

Clean it up in a frenzy only matched in it's rage-fueled fervor by your mother's after the Sleep Away Camp Lice Incident of 1988.  Bleach everything.

Bleach yourself.

Cry.

The end.